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What does it mean to be one?

The words “ally” or “allyship” has been making rounds on the internet quite a bit. But what do they mean in the mental health context? How do you become a mental health ally? 

Well, it’s important to know that you don’t necessarily have to be (or have been) clinically diagnosed with a mental disorder to be an ally. Allyship is all about actively supporting another, whether or not you’re in the same position. 

I think being a good listener is a crucial form of mental health allyship. 

Up until recently, stigmas around mental health were rife. The phrase “mental health” itself had negative connotations attached and it was often made synonymous with the most extreme forms of mental health disorders. People rarely talked about their mental struggles for fear of being looked upon differently by others. 

Despite the growing efforts to normalise conversations around mental health, a lot of people still find it hard to talk about the state of their own mental health. Take it from me, I still find it uncomfortable talking about my mental health sometimes, but having friends and family members who actually listen while I’m doing so helps.

I remember how nervous I was the first time I told a friend about my struggle with loneliness following the pandemic. I was scared that she would think I was pathetic or lame, but to my delight, all she did was listen intently as I rambled on. She didn’t offer any unsolicited advice (“You should just put yourself out there”) or made any sympathetic remarks (“Aw, that’s really sad”) either which was a relief because it made me realise how normal it was to feel that way.  

But more importantly, she didn’t make me feel any worse about it more than I already am. 

I know we give those advice and say those remarks with good intentions, but it can come across as an invalidation of the person’s situation, especially when they haven’t exactly given us the full picture. I know sometimes when I talk about my mental health, I don’t necessarily feel bad about it or that it’s that big of a deal until someone says something to suggest otherwise. Then, I’m spiralling.

Sometimes, something as simple as being listened to without judgements is really all a person needs to feel a little better about their situation. You might not exactly understand why it’s such a big deal to them and that’s okay, you’re not obliged to, but it’s nice being able to talk comfortably to someone about your mental health.