Our complicated relationship with Sex and the City (part 2)

In addition to criticisms tied to misogynistic ideas, Sex and the City has been criticised by feminists, too. In , Alison Bechdel has opined that the show does not pass the聽Bechdel Test (a measure of the representation of women in fiction). Indeed, there was a widespread perception of the show as one which depicted women who, for all their intelligence and ambition, only ever seemed to talk about sex and men.聽It鈥檚 worth noting聽that the show itself is cognisant of this fact;聽as a frustrated Miranda鈥攖he vessel through which the show鈥檚 feminist perspectives were expressed鈥攁sks her friends in a season 2 episode, 鈥淲hy do four smart women have nothing to talk about but boyfriends?鈥澛

In spite鈥攐r聽perhaps because of鈥攖hese things, even Bechdel herself is a fan. Why? The answer is quite simple. 鈥淚 would never watch any television or movies if I only watched shows that passed the test."聽

With Bechdel鈥檚 words in mind, the show鈥檚 obsession with materialism, sex, and the male-female dynamic can be understood as at least partly self-aware, an active effort to subvert the longstanding narrative of a childless, unmarried woman in her 30s as something to be pitied. Instead, the women look back on their 20s with eye-rolls and good humour, affirming to audiences that once you turn 30, the sex gets better, the apartments bigger, the drinks stronger, and the clothes nicer.

If SATC can still be聽described as a feminist show (and I believe it can), then its a聽particular brand of of capitalist feminism聽in which material objects function as devices which allow characters to navigate their deeper feelings. There's a聽season 6 episode, 'A Woman's Right to Shoes', which聽is evidence of the above. In it, Carrie鈥檚 $400 Manolo Blahnik鈥檚 are stolen at her friend鈥檚 no-shoes-allowed baby shower, and her friend refuses to reimburse her. Frustrated, Carrie laments to Charlotte that, for all the hundreds of dollars she鈥檚 spent on gifts for friend鈥檚 engagement parties, weddings, and baby showers, as a single, childless woman, she鈥檚 received nothing in return. Carrie decides to issue her friend with a faux invitation to a wedding (鈥淚鈥檓 getting married鈥o myself,鈥 it reads) and a gift registry containing only one item: the shoes. It may be a reinforcement of the show's tendency聽to present emotions聽as聽迟丑颈苍驳蝉,听however, it nonetheless signifies our culture鈥檚 failure to recognise non-traditional relationships in the way it does traditional ones.

Indeed, SATC inspects female financial independence in a way that few movies or series have before or since. There are entire storylines about money, how it functions for women vs men, and how money translates into power for women where they might otherwise struggle to obtain it. In one particular episode, Carrie, on the precipice of being evicted from her apartment, is torn about whether to cash a check from Big, her wealthy ex. Instead, she accepts Charlotte鈥檚 engagement ring as a loan. It鈥檚 unrealistic, yes, but it鈥檚 also an effective critique of the dilemmas that women face in navigating the world independently, forced to rely only on themselves or, in some cases, on the expensive remnants from the patriarchal institutions which failed them. What鈥檚 more, as a young female viewer, it鈥檚 both cathartic and invigorating to see an alternative version of a woman鈥檚 life play out on-screen; one where marriage and children are presented as questions, rather than solutions.

Ultimately, the crucial relationships in SATC鈥檚 are between the four women at its core. The bond they share has endured, and as a viewer, you understand that these women鈥攚ho are different in almost every way鈥攔eally like each other (though not in real life, according to Kim Cattrall, who plays Samantha). Their friendship is grounded in a genuine love and closeness, free from pettiness. Even when they argue, it feels as it might to argue with your own friends: from a place of deep care and concern. It鈥檚 not perfect, but in a lot of ways, it feels like home.

Tagged in What messes with your head, Opinion, TV, Culture