³ÉÈË´óƬ

We’re always in a process of self-discovery. Talking to people has been really helpful for me to get a perspective on who I am. I’ve recently gone through a break up, and I’ve realised I’m an idiot. That sounds like I’m beating myself up, but I actually think (for the most part) it’s a good kind of foolishness. 

The Happy Fool

There’s a story that’s always resonated with me. There’s a happy fool who goes into a town, and keeps being conned by the townspeople’s increasingly ludicrous requests. Someone asks for money for their children’s medicine, then someone asks him to build them a house because they don’t know how to, then someone asks him for the clothes off his back because otherwise the world might end. Every time, the fool smiles and does what the people ask, saying he’s so happy he could help. Each time, the townspeople laugh at him behind his back.

The moral of the story is one of two things. It could be taken to mean that you should be careful trusting what other people say, and shouldn’t go too far in helping others at your own expense. There’s another way of looking at it though. The fool smiles every time he decides to do something for the townspeople. Maybe the fool isn’t really such a fool after all, maybe he knows that they’re trying to trick them, but still just wants to help them. Maybe being foolish isn’t always as foolish as it seems.

How Am I Foolish?

I think one way I’m foolish is that I have been too proud to see my own issues. A way I’m even more foolish is that I think I can still somehow make up for, or fix, all the mistakes I’ve made in the past. Except...maybe, just maybe, I actually can.

Another major way I’m foolish is that I often don’t put a filter on what I say and think, especially to those close to me (and apparently when I’m blogging). If it’s in my head, I say it. That goes against conventional social wisdom, and is a silly thing to do. Except, maybe it isn’t as foolish as it seems. Being honest gives me a shot at having deeper connections than I otherwise would. I am learning the importance of saying these things sensitively though. 

I also have this insane optimism that things are going to work out, even in the face of impossible odds. This also could also be seen as a stupid thing. 

Maybe that’s one of the most foolish things about me, I haven’t learnt my lesson. Even right now, I’m still being an idiot. I haven’t given up hope in the midst of everything feeling hopeless. I’m still clinging on to it, and I refuse to stop. I’m going to smile, and do what I can to be like that happy fool. That’s who I am.

Only fools rush in, but with a miracle maybe that can work out every once in a while.