Avoiding my obligations
Sometimes I get this overwhelmed feeling. Lately I get it more and more often. My obligations and responsibilities bubble up and threaten to drown me. Even the simplest of tasks feels utterly impossible. I feel a bit sick in my stomach and look for a way out.听
I put off my assignments, trying not to think about how much more difficult it will be to do them the night before they're due. I cancel meetings or worse, just don't rock up. I spend hours wasting time on my phone or watching TV, all the while stifling an underlying feeling of panic I'm trying my hardest to ignore.
I feel guilty about the things I said I'd do but haven't yet done. Is it better for me to tell the truth and seem pathetic, or to lie, coming up with some excuse? I'm scared to admit to people that I can't seem to do a simple task, like sending an email or making a phone call right now. Better to just not say anything at all.听
I think, with disappointment, about the goals I enthusiastically set for myself at the start of the year. I'm not on track to meet them.听
I'm finding it harder to remember the reasons why I've committed myself to these things. Are my studies really that worthwhile? Is this the career I want? As for my volunteering commitments, I know I was motivated at the start, but that motivation is fading. I wonder: what's the point? I want to quit - all of it!听
So what will I do? I'll wait for this overwhelmed feeling to subside. I'll try to chip away at things and get those assignments in, even if they're not my best work.听I'll try and be gentle with myself, let myself rest and wait for my energy to come back. And I'll try to be honest with people about how I'm feeling. Chances are they might be feeling the same way too.听
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Note: If you're resonating with these feelings, you might like to check out some tips about finding balance here.听
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