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I've been indulging a bit too much lately.

My friend got a really bad grade on her test, and so, she ate KFC. Another person I know gets through her week with a bubble tea every day. And me, I'm not averse to a rough week Maccas order (McChicken, cheeseburger, medium fries, and a strawberry shake, for those who are asking). 

We all rely on unhealthy food as an unhealthy coping mechanism. We crave sugar and fat and grease to help us deal with our stresses. There's something about doing something so bad for us, so indulgent, that feels so good when we need it most. When I've had a bad day, I absolutely do not want a salad. I will turn instead of chocolate, biscuits, or junk food. 

And yet, we all recognise that it is bad for us. I think we forget at the time how much of a negative impact the food will have on our energy levels, and cause us to feel tired, fatigued, and exhausted. Or maybe we do remember, but we choose to deal with it for the high of the yummy food. So we get stuck in this bad position that after we've eaten something bad to help us cope, we end up feeling much worse.

Every time that I eat KFC, my stomach hurts and I feel quite sick. There is regret. And the extra realisation of feeling much worse. Though I am trying to reduce the guilt attached to it (because we all deserve to not eat vegetables and grains all the time!), the bigger problem is my attachment to it when things get tough.

I have noticed that since I'm in the rough part of the semester, I have been turning to junk food more and more. Besides, it is convenient, close to the uni and often open late. Now that I recognise that I often feel much worse after, I hope that I start to cling to it less. There are much healthier alternatives that can still give me the thrill of cheering me up. Or, at least, relying on it less, and having it as a treat every once in a while rather than whenever life feels hard.

It's a process though. Hopefully, we can begin to cure our addiction!