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As someone who is mixed race, half white and half Aboriginal/Torres Strait Islander, it is NOT hard to know where I stand.

I may have experienced being brought up between two different cultures during my 20 years of living. I may sometimes see two sides of things according to what is right. I may look more white than black. I may have gone to schools where the majority of students were white. I may have tolerated and failed to call out the slightly racist and immature comments some kids made in front of me throughout high school. Not out of any sort of shame but because I made excuses for them. They didn’t know of my background because I didn’t 'look' it, they were just immature, so all I did was roll my eyes and walk away. I was raised around two beautiful families of two different colours, I didn’t need to be taught that I should accept every human no matter what their race. I taught myself that. I knew that. I KNOW that. As do many others in my generation, the generation before and after.

I’ve always been a very independent person for most of my life, quiet and reserved, developing a lot of anxiety over the past few years, and more, but I know what is right and wrong… I will be brutally honest if I have to, because I’m angry. I will admit that I am angry and devastated that people of colour all around the world are still being killed and oppressed in this day and age. I’m terrified for my father every day, for my family. I’m disappointed that a lot of people I know, some of who are my friends and some who are not, that are doing nothing to support this movement. Especially those of who I know are frequently active on social media. I understand that many people don’t feel comfortable with it, they don’t know what to do or how to ask however, it’s better to at the very least, show you care.

I’m upset that myself and many other young mixed and Aboriginal/Torres Strait Islander people have been so deprived of culture, I feel the longing more than ever! To be around people I can relate to and know more about my family and culture. A guy I was dating a while ago was very interested in Indigenous culture, very supportive of the movement and knew a lot about it, more than me. I found myself realising that I hardly knew anything. He asked me all sorts of questions about dreamtime, history and landmarks, and I couldn’t answer them. He fed me facts that he himself had researched, intrigued and amazed at his knowledge; I was shocked at myself. He’s not even from Australia and he knows more than me? I like to say I know a lot, but I feel there is so much more.

Sometimes it is difficult to talk to my white side of the family about how I feel about my other side. How I feel when another black man is killed for nothing, how I feel when I see young Aboriginal men and women get put in custody, when my dad tells me about his job as a social worker and how much pain and suffering those kids have to go through. If brothers and sisters who are people of colour need me and my voice, I won’t stay silent. I’m not going to say I can’t support it because I’m half white (which I have nothing against), and “all lives matter” because no. No. *BLACK LIVES MATTER* right now and they always will! It’s THAT simple.

Even though I do find social media to be extremely overwhelming, sometimes deleting apps to take time to myself and my mental health, especially at these times of hardships and the world going through this pandemic, I WILL share and repost things that are hard to hear. Facts about Australia’s devastating history and events that are still happening at the hands of people in the streets and in custody. Why will I do this? Why should everyone do this? Because people need to be exposed to it. When people say they are sick of the media being so negative, and we all need to focus on the positive, then those people can go do that. Don’t look at your phone if you don’t want to see the truth but you can’t ignore what’s going on in the world. It’s just plain ignorance.