It鈥檚 cool to be different! (but don鈥檛 forget to be the same)
We all want to stand out for something. Be the best at a particular thing. Have something that we鈥檙e known for. We want something to differentiate us, so in that sense we want to be different. On the other hand, we also want to fit in, be part of the group, be like everyone else. So in that way, we want to be the same. It鈥檚 a bit of a paradox.
Being different is cool, but If you鈥檙e different in the wrong kind of way that鈥檚 not so cool. If you don鈥檛 get the mixture just right, then you run the risk of being the 鈥渨eird kid鈥.
I think I have found it one of the most infuriating things to watch people paying lip-service to acceptance while not accepting people. I wish that was never true of me, but honestly sometimes I think I鈥檝e been part of it. We puff ourselves up and say stuff like 鈥淚 value the acceptance of all people.鈥 Then we have little conversations like: 鈥淲hat do you think of Luke?鈥 鈥淗e鈥檚 such a loser!鈥
I don鈥檛 feel like we should ever treat people like that, but it seems to happen so much in groups of people. I kind of thought this issue would stop after high school. I don鈥檛 think that anymore. I still see it now, and I鈥檓 sure it will still happen in the retirement home. It鈥檚 like we鈥檙e addicted to posturing and pushing people down, putting someone at the bottom of the pecking order.
I think people have a lot of trouble accepting and valuing people for their differences. I鈥檝e heard a saying 鈥渏ust because you鈥檙e unique doesn鈥檛 mean you're useful鈥. It鈥檚 true that sometimes we might be different in a way that isn鈥檛 useful. I鈥檝e never bothered learning how to do the bunny-rabbit method of shoe-lace tying. That鈥檚 not a useful point of difference.
Even though a difference might not be useful, it鈥檚 no excuse to bully someone. Casting someone as a freak show for their differences or even their weaknesses is a cruel and evil thing to do.
This relates to me in two ways. The first way is that I could do a better job of appreciating what people bring to the table. I鈥檝e realised I need to accept people鈥檚 differences, no matter what they may be (while obviously voicing disagreement respectfully where sensible and reporting criminal activity).
The other way this relates to me is that I feel like I鈥檓 different. I鈥檓 not just fashionably different either, a lot of the time the ways I鈥檓 different seem to make me less popular. I don鈥檛 always think like everyone else, or communicate like everyone else. For some people I guess I might be the 鈥渨eird kid鈥.
It鈥檚 hard, but I think I can own that. Some of my differences are my greatest strengths. I don鈥檛 need to manufacture being more the same or more different. If I live out these things with confidence then maybe that鈥檚 a way to be true to all my statements of valuing and accepting others.