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Sure, this may seem like a strange thing to talk about. I get that. At first it may seem like there’s nothing that can be said about this topic, but I’ve come to a realisation: there is nowhere in the house that makes sense for cat litter to go.

This is important to talk about, because I am tired of having my nostrils assaulted by the pungent odour of post-digested cat biscuits. Everywhere I go, there are people who seem to think that a cat litter tray is a perfect ornament to use as the centrepiece of a room. I respect your choice to put your cat litter wherever you like, it’s not my decision. What you do in your home is your business. Even so, this is something where there needs to at least be a potential solution.

Look, maybe I’m just being over-sensitive about this. I know that I’m a prissy, 21st century, city-dweller. I’ve been to a farm before, and it turned out animals smell. If you want to bring one of those animals into your house, then they will bring a bit of that smell with them. That’s just the reality of it. I just don’t like having the smell of.. what animals leave behind… in homes.

Let’s start with obvious locations that cat litter shouldn’t go. Some people put it in open areas that people will walk past. This could be a dining room, a hallway, whatever. This is obviously the worst place cat litter could be put. If it’s out in the open the smell is out in the open.There’s also a risk someone might step in it. So this just isn’t an ideal solution.

The alternative is tucking the litter box away in another room, like the bathroom or laundry. This is a better option, but it’s far from ideal. These rooms are where you go to CLEAN yourself and your clothes. Why would you put this box, which regularly contains literal deconstituted kibble bits, in a room where you want to make things smell better?

The only solution I can think of is letting the cat go out in the garden. For indoor cats, this could involve building one of those enclosed backyards. You’ll notice this option doesn’t even involve litter, because litter is the problem. The garden is where the cat should go. It’s good for the soil, it’s good for the cat, it’s good for my nostrils. It’s a triple win.

So, there you go. Cat litter shouldn’t exist. Get rid of it. Unless the cat doesn’t do what they’re told… which is pretty likely. If the garden doesn’t work (and you have this grievance in the same way that I do) then I guess you could teach the cat to use the toilet?