Ouch
Every now and then, things feel really bad. In general it goes something like this. There鈥檚 something I鈥檝e put a lot into. A person, an activity, a job, an investment, it could be anything. Whatever it is, I鈥檝e put a lot of time, emotion or energy into it. I have this idea of how things are going to go. Except that鈥檚 not how things go at all.
The economic investment backfires and there鈥檚 less than there was before, you realise the person you care about doesn鈥檛 care back, you feel like you really suck at the thing you wanted to be good at. There鈥檚 this feeling of pain and defeat. An 鈥渙uch鈥 kind of feeling. Like there鈥檚 some kind of stabbing pain in my chest.
This isn鈥檛 a really positive topic to talk about, but I鈥檓 hoping it鈥檚 reassuring to know that it鈥檚 something that other people commonly face. I think it鈥檚 on my mind because a couple of things have been making me feel this way. They鈥檙e not major things, just little things that aren鈥檛 what I鈥檇 expected/hoped for. For example, my study this semester hasn鈥檛 been the perfect record I wanted it to, and I still don't know where my life is headed after university.
I feel like things aren鈥檛 going the way I expected, and I just don鈥檛 know what to do. I think it鈥檚 like if someone you had a crush on told you they didn鈥檛 really care for you. How should you deal with that? It feels like there鈥檚 no way to solve it?
For my study, I鈥檝e found it helpful to acknowledge that I鈥檓 in the situation that I鈥檓 in now and accept that. It鈥檚 not what I want, and I鈥檓 letting myself be sad about that, but I can't change the past. I鈥檓 also thinking about what I can do to get from where I am now to somewhere better. I'm going to remember this next time I'm in a similar situation.
I'm going to get knocked back a lot, but I can't let that stop me from moving on.